Speak, Cry, Laugh it Off : on the book "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson

Melinda Sordino seemed to be an ordinary girl. Her dried out, chapped lips, thick black eyebrows and hand-me-down clothes are only the surface, but inside of her hides a deep dark secret kept from the outside world. The overflowing hallways of high school pass in a haze; Jocks, Preps, Cheerleaders, Artists, and Goths all in their place. But she is alone, ignored and hated by everyone, in a surrounding world where no one cares. Every chance they get, they use to throw a dirty look or maybe a nasty joke. All they know is; she’s the girl who called the police at that party, she is the one who ruined everyone’s fun. No one knows why though, and it doesn’t cross their minds to simply ask her why.

Rape. While everyone else was enjoying the festivities she had no way to escape his grip. His deep cold voice in her ear, pinned down and unable to move. Thousands of thoughts rushing through her head hoping he’ll go away. And even if she screamed, no one would hear her anyway. It’s the type of incident that leaves a permanent imprint, and will haunt her for the rest of her life

As the reader, we watch from afar as this innocent girl tries to overcome what has happened. It’s impossible to imagine what it must be like, but we get close enough to slightly skim the surface of how it feels. The guy who raped her is the one everyone adores and the one her ex-best friend has a crush on.

Who would believe her even if she told? No one would be on her side. The slow and on-going agony throughout this book makes you want to reach out and help Melinda, to say it will all be okay. It’s easy to tell she is in denial, pretending as though it had never happened. Maybe if she just told someone, it would all be over.

It’s not that easy, her most prized possession was taken from her violently by force, and without permission. The ac t of a pig with nasty needs, who should be brutally punished if only someone else knew his shameful deed. But she chooses to stay silent, no matter what.

Her therapy is trees. She draws them in every way possible; dark and mysterious, gloomy and silent, and sometimes a happy one in between. They hang in her thinking space; a dark old closet in her school, her secret hideout that no one knows exists. Through her drawings she expresses her thoughts and feelings, and it helps her come through. The trees were actually an assignment, given to her by her teacher, who asked her to perfect the art of a tree.

Maybe the only way to overcome something is to re-visit again, but not completely, only as far as it takes to understand. It’s a good thing she finally told her friend, because he came back searching for seconds, but failed. If only she had told someone sooner it probably would have helped, because when he came to seek her out, her friends were the ones who heard her scream. They defended her from him and made sure everyone knew to stay away. If Melinda had said something or someone would have asked what’s up, maybe it could have all been much easier and with less pain.

Melinda wasn’t alone; she just needed the help and support of someone she could trust. Now, even though the memory is permanent, at least with friends it is easier to move on.