California Here We Come

“You don’t just go to California,

California changes you,

You don’t come back from California.” – Zack “Gilmore Girls”

My parents had promised me Vienna for my Christmas vacation, but no matter how much I hoped, it never came. Instead I heard the word California come out of their mouths. What?! I couldn’t possibly understand how a person could jump from Vienna to California. Europe, with its vast history and meaningful art compared to the USA? Give me a break.

It turned out that my brother was going to go there for college and we were going there with him to check it out. At first, I absolutely refused to go; I had no interest whatsoever in going anywhere near the United States. But as it turned out, in the end, I decided to go anyway.

It is true what people say: California changes you. It was a fascinating and refreshing new experience. We stayed on a ranch in the Santa Ynez Valley, near a sweet little town called Solvang. My parents never actually made it there, so it turned out to be just my brother and me.

His college, SBCC (Santa Barbara City College) was about an hour away from the ranch, in Santa Barbara. Every morning, would start off by stepping out of my warm blanket, and into a sudden brisk chill, shivering down my back. Five’ o’clock, it was time to catch the bus to the city. It was absolutely beautiful. Everything seemed to look uplifting and there was always a perfect sunshine up in the bright blue sky, only slightly ruined by the sharp cold wind. A whole city located right on the beach, but unlike Panama, you could actually go in the water, although it is freezing cold.

Usually, I’m the type of person who writes to their boyfriend and friends to tell them how much I miss them. But on this trip I didn’t. Not once did it even cross my mind. Every day I would go out and explore every inch of the city. I’d visit the famous wharf, ride all the different buses, shop, have some coffee, sit back in a café and relax.

However, what I didn’t notice was how much I seemed to be growing attached to California. When I came back I was acting differently, according to my friends. I didn’t go out with them anymore, and kept to myself in my own little bubble. I was craving the perfect blue sky and the icy blue ocean breeze. I didn’t want to be in Panama, I wanted to be in California, and stay there. And now that my brother was living there, that made me extremely jealous and long for it every second of every day. Almost all of my friends were angry at me and I hadn’t even called my best friend on her birthday. It was a complete mess. Even my boyfriend somehow seemed distant; I was ignoring his existence, which almost lead to a break-up. I was ready for the next step and didn’t care about my life here anymore. I wanted to move there, and stay there and nothing was going to change that.

Thankfully, I finally snapped out of it. I realized that, for now, Panama is where I live and I have to leave California aside for next year. The time will come when we all have to part, and that is when I’ll go. I’m hoping to attend college there next year. That is when I’ll be able to enjoy it for what it is and move on when I’m meant to. But for now I’ll try to stay happy here in Panama. Because here are all the people I care about and that are the most important in my life. And as for California, I’ll be there before I know it.